The Mockery

Fears that the rapidly diminishing Priminster of The United Kingdoms of England may soon be too small to see over the despatch box are unfounded say his supporters. They insist that he is actually growing into the role. Rishi Sunak is getting smaller by the day according to data released by 'OfPOL', the regulator of politician's vital statistics, leading to speculation that he could be microscopic come the General Election. A spokeswheel for OfPOL said, 'We are concerned that Mr Sunak is disappearing before voter's eyes and we have launched an independent enquiry into his shrinkage,' adding, 'lt is a minimum requirement that all politicians must be larger than an amoeba.' The former banker and hedge fund manager, who made his millions by shorting the pound during the 2008 financial crash, was reportedly nearly 6 foot tall when he started working for Goldman Sachs. By the time he was appointed Chancellor of the Exchequer he had shrunk to 5'